A New Family
by drJsg1
Summary: What if Randy was not part of the Taylor family to begin with, what if he came to them later in life.


**[Opening Credits]**

**Episode begins on the set of "Tool Time" with Al and Tim talking about the importance of family and love while trying to glue sandpaper to the table.**

Tim:You know Al, today is a very important day for my family.

Al:Yeah Tim, why is that.

Tim:Well Al, today we're getting a new member to our very powerful family. (Tim starts to grunt with the audience joining in)

Al:Is that right. Is Jill having another baby that I didn't know about? (Al starts to look frantic)

Tim:No, no Al, it's nothing like that. You see, we saw an advertisement for need children on the television and we decided to take one in. (The audience cheers Tim for his generosity) Yep, he'll be here around noon.

Al:Well, it should certainly be a good experience for you Tim.

Tim:Yeah, I'm sure it will be, as long as I don't pee in my pants when he arrives. It would be just like me to have to go when something important happens. (Tim frowns jokingly and lets out a small chuckle as the audience joins him in laughing)

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**Cut to the Taylor kitchen**

[Brad and Mark are quickly eating their breakfast with Tim and Jill standing over them like nervous pigs]

Tim:(Checking his watch) Its half past noon. I just don't understand why no one is ever where they say they'll be when they say they'll be there. It really makes me sick.

Mark:(Brings his dish over to the sink) Yeah, me to. We should teach them a lesson.

Brad:(Brings his dish over to the sink) Well then, you might as well go and teach dad a lesson, because he's one of the people that make himself sick.

Jill:(Chuckles) Yeah, I would like to teach your dad a lesson to. How about this? (Tim and Jill kiss for well over ten seconds with Mark and Brad staring at them with there mouths ajar)

**[Knock, Knock, Knock]**

Brad:There here, there here!

Mark:Yes! I'll finally have someone of my own to play with.

Brad:He's not a dog, dummy.

Jill:Brad. Tim are you just going to stand there or are you going to go answer the door. It's like I'm talking to a dummy.

Tim

Brad&Mom!!

Mark

Jill:(Slaps Tim) Now don't you start calling me mom. (Tim answers the door to an old, crumpled woman holding the neck of a young boy with a very serious face)

Tim:(Steps back so they can get in) uh, hello.

Frasier: Here's the kid. I hope you have better luck with him than I did. (Turns to go) Oh, and don't let him near any cars or money. Also, if things start to suspiciously disappear just give me a call, and I'll take care of him. (She bluntly turned around and walked straight out the door, leaving the others behind very befuddled)

Jill:Hi, I'm Jill, this is my husband Tim, and these are our kids Brad and Mark. May I ask your name?

Randy: It's Randy, Randy Michael Turner.

**[Commercial Break]**

Brad:Um, this is going to be your room now. I hope you don't mind sharing it with me. We just didn't have enough room for another bedroom.

Randy:It's fine.

Tim:Well, like I keep telling Jill, we have plenty of room. Like I said before, if you would just let me build another room we'd have plenty of room for everybody.

Jill:Not a chance.

Randy:I assure you, this is just fine.

Mark:Mommy, are we going to adopt him?

Jill:One thing at a time, honey.

Tim:Well, why don't we leave you alone for a little while and you can get yourself unpacked. (Tim starts to walk out but Jill stops him)

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Jill:Could we do anything to help you get settled?

Randy:No, I think I can handle.

**[Cut to Randy and Brad's Room Later]**

Jill:(Comes into the room followed by Brad who is bouncing a basket-ball) Are you all settled in, Randy?

Randy:Yeah, I guess.

Brad:Would you like to play some basket-ball?

Jill:Hold off Brad, he just got here an hour ago.

Brad:Well, I just thought he'd like to play. I was trying to be nice.

Randy:Thanks anyway Brad, but I think I'd just like to sleep for a little while. It's been a hard day.

Jill:Well, alright then. You just rest and we'll check up on you later, o.k.? (Jill pushes Brad out the door and closes it gently behind her)

Randy:(Lays down on the bottom bunk and sighs) Yeah, everyone's always checking up one me. (He takes out a notepad and a pen and starts to right a letter to his long lost father) Huh. Hurry back dad, I miss you.

**[Cut to Randy and Brad's Room Later]**

**[Randy is just finishing the letter he's righting to his father when Mark walks in]**

Mark:Hi, Randy.

Randy:(Stuffs the letter under his shirt) Hey, you're not supposed to just storm into a room without knocking! It's kind of like a professional courtesy.

Mark:(Starts to tremble and then cry. Tim and Jill come running up) I'm, I'm sorry.

Tim:What in the world is going on here?

Jill:Mark are you o.k.?

Mark:Uh-uh.

Tim:Randy, in this house we do not, I repeat do not, yell at each other. Especially, not over a stupid thing such as barging into a room. There are no secrets in this family, you got that!

Randy:Yeah, I got that! (Randy runs out the front door slamming it behind him. In the meantime leaving behind the letter which lies at Jill's feet)

Mark:(Bends down to pick up the fallen letter) Mommy, look what Randy dropped.

Jill:(Takes the letter from Mark and with a shocked look reads the letter aloud) Tim, look at this.

Tim:What does it say?

Jill:It says . . . .

Randy:(As Jill reads you can hear Randy's voice overcoming Jill's voice)

_**Dear Dad,**_

_**I hate it here. I feel that I'm being watched at every turn no matter where I am. It's almost Christmas you know, and there's only one thing I want. I hope I'm not being too selfish, but all I want for Christmas is you. I love you more that anything in the world.**_

_**Love your son,**_

_**Randy**_

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Jill:(Sighs) Oh, that poor boy.

**[Cut to the Kitchen Later]**

Randy:(Walks through the front door)

Jill:(Rushes over to him and squats down in front of him) Where in the world have you been? I've been so worried about you.

Brad:(Grunts) Boy, are you in trouble now.

Jill:Brad, don't you have something better to do? (Brad walks out of the kitchen)

Randy:I just went down to the park, it's no big deal.

Jill:Randy, you ought to know that in this house we do not just go storming out of here without telling either Tim or me where your going do you understand?

Randy:(Sits down in a chair and starts to play with a pencil) Sure, whatever.

Jill:Young man, you better watch your mouth! I do not tolerate rudeness!

Randy:Hey chill, it's not like I went out robbed a bank or anything. I went to the park, that's it. Like I said, it's no big deal.

Jill:Randy, you don't seem to understand how big a deal this really is. What would Ms. Frasier say if we reported you missing?

Randy:(Sarcastically) She'd probably jump for joy.

Jill:Now what is that supposed to mean?

Randy:(Shouting) Well, with me gone, she wouldn't get phone calls from disappointed parents. Or mobs of gangsters banging on her doors to come beat me up. Without me the whole world would be happier.

Jill:Now I'm sure that's not true.

Randy: You'll see, just wait, you'll see.

**[Cuts to the Kitchen the Next Morning]**

Brad:Morning mom, what's for breakfast?

Jill:Oatmeal.

Brad:(Makes a face) Uhhh! I think I'll pass. Maybe I'll just have some cereal.

Mark:Hi mommy.

Jill:Good morning, sweetheart. How are you doing this fine morning?

Mark:Good. Where's Randy?

Brad:Yeah, if he doesn't hurry he's going to miss school. I can go get him if you want me to.

Jill:Thank you sweetie. That would be most helpful. (Brad walks of to his room)

**[Cuts to Brad and Randy's Room]**

Brad:Hey, Randy we're going to be late for school, Randy. Randy what are you doing? (Finds Randy in there room staring out the window) Randy, are you o.k.? Randy?

Randy:She's coming?

Brad:Who's coming?

Randy:Ms. Frasier.

Brad: How do you know?

Randy:I can feel it. She's coming back to get me. (Stands up and walks over to the desk) I knew this would happen sooner or later.

Brad:Why would she come back? I thought you were going to stay with us forever.

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Randy:You don't know Ms. Frasier like I do. She always comes back. However hard I try to fight it she always comes back.

Brad:Maybe I should talk to my mom. I'm sure she could do something.

Randy:No, (Picks up his backpack and starts toward the door) it's no big deal. You learn something when you move from place to place.

Brad:What do you learn?

Randy:Never get attached. It only hurts more when she comes to take you away. (He exits out the door)

Brad:Man, if I never got attached to anyone I'd die. (He exits out the door)

**[Cuts to Freemont Elementary School]**

Brad:This is your class.

Randy:How do you know, at my old school we had at least six classrooms for each grade. Of course the teachers never knew if we were there are not. They tried to stay as far away from us as possible, so we didn't pick-pocket them.

Brad:You're kidding.

Randy:Not really.

Brad:Well, we only have one third grade class. You're teacher is Ms. Adams. Doesn't talk much but is the nicest teacher in the school, which isn't hard to do. Well, I'll see you after class. We meet at the flagpole in front of the school. See ya. (Brad walks off to his classroom across the hall)

Randy:Yeah, bye. (Randy walks into the class and takes a seat near the back a boy comes over to sit with him)

Peter: Hi. My name is Peter Malloy. Who are you?

Randy:(Looks slightly annoyed) Randy Turner.

Peter: (Puts his hand out for Randy to shake who doesn't so he withdraws his hand) Well, it's nice to meet you.

Randy:Sure it is. You just haven't gotten to know me yet.

Peter:It sounds like your putting yourself down. I used to do that but then my mother said that I was underestimating myself and I shouldn't do it. I'm sure that's exactly like what you're doing, and my mother said that any man who cuts himself short is not a man at all.

Randy:(Spins his head around to look at Peter, confused) What?!

Peter:Don't worry I didn't understand it myself when I first heard it. But know that I'm older I understand it perfectly, and I have even started to put it into practice.

Randy:Has anyone ever told you that you talk way too much.

Peter:No, but mother says there's a first time for everything. So someone will probably tell me something like that sometime in my lifetime.

Randy: Well she was right, and this is your first time.

Peter:Well, whatever do you mean?

Randy:YOU TALK WAY TOO MUCH!

Peter:Sheesh! I was just trying to make conversation.

Randy:Well, that was your first mistake.

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Adam: Alright, alright class calm down. My name is Ms. Adams and I will be your teacher for the year. Now class, it looks as if we have a new student this year. (She walks down the hall towards Randy who is drawing a piece of paper. She stops and taps him on the shoulder. Randy looks up startled and then annoyed) Young man, would you like to tell us a little bit about yourself?

Randy:Not really. (He goes back to drawing on the piece of paper when the teacher taps his shoulder again and he slowly gets up and goes to the front of the classroom)

Adam: Thank you. Now why don't you start by telling us your name?

Randy:Sure. Hi, my name is Randy Turner, and I'm a kid. (Randy starts to go sit down but Ms. Adams stops him)

Adam:Randy, could you be a little more specific?

Randy:O.K. I'm a boy kid. (Randy walks to his desk and sits down and Ms. Adams smiles nervously at the rest of the class)

Adam: Well, thank you Randy. That was very insightful. I'm glad we got to know you just a little bit better. (A bell rings and the kids jump up and run outside for recess)

**[Cut to the Playground in the Back of the School]**

Peter:You were pretty rude to Ms. Adams in class, and I want to know why.

Randy:I don't think that's any of your business.

Peter:Sure it is. My mother says if you want to know something you should ask, and if it's something that I want to know and I don't ask, then it becomes my business.

Randy:That doesn't make any sense.

Peter:I didn't think it did either. But my mother said that as I got older I would start to understand her advice.

Randy: I don't think it's technically possible to understand her advice.

Peter:Yeah, come to think of it, I think I heard that on a re-run of F-Troop.

Randy:Do they still have that show on TV. It's like ancient history.

Peter:(Laughing) Yeah, it's on channel 189 Italian Indians.

Randy:You're kidding.

Peter:No.

Randy:You know Pete you're alright. Maybe, we could become friends.

Peter:Hey, that sounds cool. Meet me after school and I can introduce you to some of my other friends. We all meet at the park to play hockey after school. It's not an organized league or anything but we still have a lot of fun together.

Randy:Sounds cool. Maybe, I will come. (The bell rings to end recess and they all run inside to the classroom)

**[Cut to Ms. Adams Classroom]**

Adam:Class today in English we're going to study . . . (The phone rings and Ms. Adams goes over to pick it up) Yeah, this is Ms. Adams . . . sure I can send him down . . . yeah I'll tell him . . . he'll be down right away. (Ms. Adams hangs up the phone and walks to the center of the room) Randy, your Mom and Dad are waiting for you in the office. Get your backpack and start heading down there, please?

Randy:(Looks confused) My parents?

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Adam:Yes, you're parents. Now will you please get your stuff together to go home?

Randy:Yeah, sure. (Randy packs up his backpack and walks out the door to the office)

**[Cut to the Office]**

Randy:(Randy opens the door to the office to see, sitting there, Ms. Frasier, he starts to back away) I must have walked through the wrong door. Excuse me, I've got places to go, people to meet, banks to rob? (Randy starts to nervously chuckle)

Frasier: I'm sorry to disappoint you Randy but it's time to go.

Randy:But I just got here.

Frasier: Maybe, but you know my half badger brethren' you have five lonely girls back home that really miss you. (Mumbles under her breath) Plus, my floors are starting to look rather dingy again. (Randy hears this and his face begins to turn red in rage)

Randy:Is that all I'm good for, cleaning your floor and washing you're laundry! (Ms. Frasier looks at Randy shocked by his sudden outburst) you know I'm not you're slave. I'm sick of being in the same house with a drunk and then when you stay all night throwing up I don't want to be the one staying up all night with you cleaning it up. It's just plain sick. I'm done doing all of this work for you. (Randy starts sweating knowing that now Ms. Frasier will beat him for yelling at her. He wipes his brow nervously) Uh, I got to go. (Randy opens the office door and runs out without looking behind him)

**[Cut to the Taylor's House]**

Brad:Hi Mom, Mark.

Jill:Hello Brad. How was your day?

Brad:Pretty good.

Jill:Where's Randy?

Brad:I don't know he said he'd meet me after school but he never showed up.

Jill:Well, did you look around to see if he was just waiting for you in another place?

Brad:Yeah, I walked around the block three times, and then figured if he missed the bus he could just give you a call. It's not that big a deal, you'll probably receive a call from him any minute. (Brad walks upstairs. The phone rings, and Mark answers it)

Mark:Hello? Yes this is the Taylor residence, may I help you? Yeah. Mom it's for you.

Jill:Thank you, honey. (Mark runs upstairs) Hello? What do you mean I never signed Randy out; I never even came down to the school to pick him up. What do you mean that somebody did? Didn't you check to see if it was his real mother before she walked off with him? She didn't walk off with him. He ran off by himself? Well, thanks for telling me I'll talk to him. (Jill sets down the phone and mumbles to herself) As soon as I find him.

**[Cut to the Set of "Tool Time"]**

Tim:And that's are show for today. Thank you for listening, and once again you're watching "Tool Time" with Tim "the Tool man" Taylor and Al Borland. Thank you and good night. (Tim and Al salute and then walk off the set)

Al:Good show there Tim.

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Tim:Yeah, you to Al.

Heidi:Tim, there's a phone call for you.

Tim:Thank you Heidi.

Heidi:Your welcome Tim.

Tim:(Tim takes the phone) Hello? Oh, hi Jill. Who's missing? Somebody pretended to be Randy's parents and snuck into the school to take him away from us? Do you know how crazy this sounds? You do. Who has there head stuck in a bucket. Jill, do you have your head stuck in a bucket. Oh, I see, you put a bucket on your head so you won't go crazy. I hate to tell you but I think you became crazy a long time ago. No, no, O.K., I'll stop making jokes. Just calm down and tell me what happened. Uh, uh-huh? Alright I'll go out looking, just calm down, alright, goodbye.

Al:What seems to be the problem Tim?

Tim:Huh? Oh, Jill got her head stuck in a bucket no big deal. I've got to go see you tomorrow. (Tim leaves)

Al:They get stranger and stranger. (Sighs, shaking his head in confusion)

**[Cut to Tim in His Car an Hour Later]**

Tim:(Sighs) It's been an hour and I still haven't found him. Man, if kids weren't so good at hiding, and I have to admit this kid is especially good. I wonder if I could get a nutria-grain bar around hear. I can hear my stomach growling. Or maybe it's a bear. (Tim rubs his stomach hungrily)

**[Cut to the Lake Near the House]**

Tim:(Tim climbs out of the car and walks towards where Randy is sitting on the bridge) So, there you are. I've been looking for you for almost an hour. I have to admit you're a pretty good at hiding. I think I have a muscle cramp in my butt.

Randy:Well, I've been here the whole time.

Tim:(Tim sits down next to Randy and looks across the lake to see what Randy's staring at. When he doesn't see anything he turns back to face Randy) Well, I sure had a hard time finding you. I can't believe you've been this close to the house and nobody saw you.

Randy:I guess you just weren't looking in the right places.

Tim:I guess not. Would you like to tell me what happened?

Randy:Not really.

Tim:O.K. I guess we'll just keep staring across this lake then. It sure is beautiful isn't it?

Randy:Yeah, it is. It's almost too beautiful.

Tim:What do you mean?

Randy:Look at it. The color, the texture, the way the wind blows the water up onto the shore. It almost seems perfect.

Tim:I guess that's why you came here then.

Randy:Yeah, I don't know, just looking at this lake makes the world seem, almost, peaceful.

Tim:Yeah, I get what you mean.

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Randy:You know, every time I need to be alone, I usually go to a lake, ocean, or even a river. It relaxes me enough so I can think through stuff that's going on in my life. I guess it seems kind of sill doesn't it?

Tim:It may not be as silly as you think. Whenever I want to do some deep thinking I always go to the garage to build something. It's something like a private get away.

Randy:Yeah, well at least I don't blow anything up while I'm thinking.

Tim:Very funny. (Randy turns and smiles at Tim who smiles back) We better get back. You know Jill was very worried about you.

Randy:Yeah, I know, and I'm sorry for just running off like that.

Tim:Well, its O.K. Everything's fine now. (Randy and Tim walk to the car, get in and then drive home)

**[Cut to the Taylor Kitchen]**

Tim:Hey, we're home!

Jill:(Jill comes running into the kitchen with Brad and Mark) OH MY GOODNESS! Where have you been? I've been so worried about you.

Tim:Sorry, honey. (Tim kisses Jill and then Jill gives Randy a hug) We had a good talk though didn't we Randy?

Randy:Yeah, I guess. Are we having dinner soon, I'm starving?

Jill:Yes, it's in the oven.

Brad:Yeah, but it would be my advice not to eat it.

Jill:That's not funny Brad.

Mark:Randy, I bought this for you. (Mark hands Randy a small box)

Randy:What is it?

Mark:Well you have to open it. (Jill and Tim laugh)

Randy:(Randy unwraps the box and finds a watch. He holds up the watch to his face and smiles) Wow.

Mark:Do you like it? If you don't, you can tell me. My feelings won't get hurt.

Randy:I like it very much Mark. Thanks. (Mark smiles and runs to give Randy a hug. Randy first looks annoyed and, then smiles down at Mark and hugs him back)

Jill:Well, dinner's ready. C'mon everybody. Sit down. Randy, you can sit down next to Brad there. All right is everybody ready?

Brad:I'm not sure. Will I have to get my stomach pumped afterwards?

Jill:Brad, that's not funny.

Brad:Sorry.

Mark:I like your cooking, Mommy?

Brad:Suck-up!

Tim:Brad, that's enough. You're dinner looks great, darling.

Randy:Mrs. Taylor, is the dinner supposed to be smoking, like that?

Jill:Now don't you start. (Jill dishes out the food, while everyone else pokes at it with there forks to make sure its safe to eat) Now don't everyone try it at once.

Tim:Now honey, it doesn't look that bad. (He looks disgusted) We'll all try it together. (Tim, Randy, Mark, and Brad all try it and try to smile at Jill) It's very good dear. (He tries to swallow and the takes a big sip of water)

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Randy:Yeah, it's very crunchy. I think I just ate a slug. (Randy tries not to laugh)

Tim:(Tim slaps Randy) Now that wasn't very nice.

Randy:Don't be so uptight. It was just a joke.

Brad:(Brad, Mark, Tim, and Jill all start to laugh) Yeah, that was a good one.

Jill:Yeah, he's a regular laugh riot.

Tim:Welcome to the family, Randy. We're glad to have you here.

**THE END**


End file.
